纯粹

刚刚心血来潮看看表妹的部落格，
我这表姐好不称职，
没错的话她今年才15岁吧？嘻嘻。
只能说，如今的孩子们真的是早熟。
她的部落格，几乎篇篇都是关于爱情。
顿时觉得那以前可爱又蹦蹦跳跳的表妹真的长大了。
人生中，如果不曾跌倒，哪会成长？
不管在哪一方面，每一次的失败是我们学习的最好机会。
读书固然重要，可是很多事情是我们无法从书本学到的。

试问有谁不曾在感情上跌得遍体鳞伤？
再坚强的人都有脆弱的一面。
如果一位朋友在我面前哭了，
我会很放心，因为我知道她没有逞强。
相反的，如果一位朋友在我面前伪装快乐，
我会很担心，因为伪装的背后是如此难受，
她会比原被伤心多倍。。。
所以，请你别伪装，
想哭就在我面前痛哭一场，
我不会为你抹泪，
因为长大了，自己的泪自己抹 :)

女生有颗脆弱的心，
很容易就因为你一句无心的话或举动就破碎了。
当他喜欢上你的时候，
你的一句话或一个举动便会影响她的情绪，
很傻吧？
可是你永远不晓得她是多么心甘情愿的为了你而当一位傻瓜。
相等的，当你一次又一次的把她伤得伤痕累累的时候，
她对你会越来越心淡了，
不是她不爱了，
只是她晓得，不管她怎么做你都不会珍惜，
是时候保护自己了。
当她决定要离你而去的时候，
她真的彻底失望了。

当一个女生向你告白的时候，
证明她真的很爱你，
为了你，她放下了尊严，放下了一切。
她身边不时没有喜欢他的人，
而是她最想要和你在一起，
想要陪你渡过一切的喜怒哀乐。。
如果有这么一个他，
请好好珍惜。

Tomorrow will be better :)

Another nice day again.
Still, I don't know why :p
I am listening to '明天会更好‘,Tomorrow will be better.
Yea,always believe that tomorrow will be better.
Doesn't means that today is not good enough,
just there's a better tomorrow always.
Yesterday is a history,
today is too late to be,
so let's create a better tomorrow.
Learn from today's mistakes,
and never repeat it again.

See ! I feel great with what we are now.
I don't expect more anymore :)
It's good for the both of us,isn't?

My friends said that '爱不疚 ’by lumfung represented my song LOL.
[FONG SHAO, FONG HUAI SHO YAO]
Excuse me ! I already let go what :p
As you guys can see how release I am.

And....
One of my friend asked me,
If you can't be with the one you loved,
will you be the one who loves you much?
Errr.. Err..
The answer: Maybe ? Depends on who is he.
Maybe I'll if I got the feeling :)

hahaha ! Well, my answer is meaningless.
Don't care la, I am happy with my life now.

I am going to library with my friends tomorrow.
Wow, it's gonna be a long long day again...
All of us are tired with those assignmentsssssss.

Hope we can get what we want tomorrow.
Kampateh my friends.

Let's look forward for a better tomorrow.
Oh ya, it's really good when I know that my friend is moving forward too.
Well, I'll never wait for those who's unable to move forward.
I'll just greet you with GOOD LUCK !

♥ I don't mind, just because of you ♥

One of my friend told me that,
once a girl decided to give up,
she's really get hurt and doesn't means that she doesn't love anymore,
yipiieee I totally agreed :p
Once she decided, she's really leaving.
So do I.
I don't know why I can be so obsessed with you,
until I don't mind anything.
I don't mind the way you're,
I don't mind the way you talk to me,
I don't mind the way you treat me,
I don't mind how bad is your temper,
I don't mind even you can't let go of her..
I don't mind because I believe that I can make you touch someday in future.
A thousands or millions of I DON'T MIND.

My friends have woke me up recently.
Is it worth for you to be like this while other never cares,
NOBODY CARES !
Is it you're really happy to be like this?

I keep silence as I know I am not fine at all.
I am not willing to be like this,
just because of the what so called feeling,
I got no choice.

I've tried to act nothing,
I even laugh loudly always infront of my friends,
joking around as the way I get used to be.......
There's tears inside my heart,
just like the raindrop from the sky.

I am down coz of any single action or word from you,
but still, I've to SMILE.
I guess we never share anything for quite a long period.
Are we still best friends as what you've said? WOndering..
There's a wall between us since that day,
nobody can breaks it.

It's time to stop to act as a stupid :)
Life still goes on.
And thanks for leaving a scar on my heart.
====================================================

Today is a GOOD GOOD day although I am not feeling well.
Maybe I've got enough sleep last night :)
Today and tomorrow just got only one class,
quite relax but I am not so happy actually coz there will be replacement class soon ==
I am really stress coz of those assignments :(
I guess the weather is damn bad,
suddenly cold and suddenly hot,
makes me not feeling well,
and my face got NEW MEMBER again,
PIMPLE, damn it.

Today is really a good day for me,
don't ask me why,
the answer will be I DON'T KNOW.
Seriously, I DON'T KNOW.
I hope this feeling will goes on,
don't go away from me please,
I do really love you :)

Oh yea,
one of my friend called me and ask for part timer this weekend,
anyone interested?
Kindly contact me ASAP.

The way we are.

I back from Malacca last night.
It was a GREAT trip with my girls,
and you know what,
I am sick, vomited like there's no tomorrow.
The 'BEST; trip ever.
But still thanks to my jumuisss for giving me such a nice trip,
and indeed sorry for spoilt your mood.
I feel warm when you guys taking care of me, thanks.
I don't know why,
by the time I sick,
I miss you so much...
But you'll never be there for me,
how I wish you're the one who will take care of me whenever I am sick..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I am afraid, afraid of everything.
I am tired, tired of everything.

This week is gonna be a busy week for assignment.
Assignments and finals are coming up soon,
drives me crazy.
I hope I won't do last mins job again,
I do really hope.

Cyndi Toh, work hard !!!!
Wish me luck and please support me always.
I can't be lazy anymore,
and
NO MORE LAST MINS PLEASE !

========================================================================

I tried to be sporting all the times,
I tried hard, you know that.
Everything has changed and seems becoming bad,
I miss the way we get used to be last time,
but it will never come back to me anymore.
Seriously, I hate the way we communicates now,
it makes me hurt.
It's hurt, and I feel helpless.
Nobody is perfect, so do I...


My english is poor,
but who cares ?!
At least I am trying to improve :)

傻瓜，别再追了。

昨夜朋友给我看了篇文章，
我觉得很有意义的一片文章，
它在我不断徘徊的期间给了我答案。

[某个人曾和你肩并肩。手牵手的向前走。
沿途的风景仿佛一辈子都看不够。看不完。
走着走着。倦了。累了。
握紧的双手越来越松。松到轻易地就放开了。
像是河流的两岸。即使都向前走。
中间也有着河流的阻挡。
从此。
彼岸的花开花落。是此岸的无能为力。
终于明白。不能失去。还是想和他一起走。
于是开始跑起来。渴望河流的某处。可以变窄。窄到再握住那个人的手。
傻瓜。你没发现只有你一个人去追。去找。那个人早就没有跟上来。
你骗自己。他只是在休息。很快一切都会回来。
你跌跌撞撞。浑身是伤。谁的话都听不进去。
只是因为爱。所以要向前走。
把联系方式删了。因为。害怕自己会和他联系。
不发出声音。不展露表情。就不会那么容易绝望了...]

文章里让我清醒的一句话，
[傻瓜。你没发现只有你一个人去追。去找。那个人早就没有跟上来。
你骗自己。他只是在休息。很快一切都会回来。]
我知道自己已经很累了，
我知道不管我多么卖力的跑，
他永远都不会跟上来。
他只不过在为了别人而跑，
那为何我还笨笨的为他而跑呢？
他永远都不晓得我为他跑得有多累。

在这之前，
我总是告诉自己，
感觉已经退了，
没那么深刻了。
可是在某些时候，
我不得不承认，
那股刻苦铭心的感觉。

现在，我很清楚的告诉自己，
再痛，放手是最好的方法。
或许，是时候给珍惜我的人一个机会吧。
不管是真的累了，
还是绝望了，
这是最好的解脱。

忘不掉过去的人根本无法与生活向前冲。
你选择回望过去，
我却选择走了。
有天，我要带着幸福的微笑祝福你，
告诉你，我过得很好。

I miss YOU,YOU,YOU and YOU ...

Guess what I am doing now?
I keep listening to '说了再见' by Jay Chou, and
'We will meet again' by ATQ 2007.
Sometimes I do really hate life,
because we are facing thousands or millions times of separations.

I thought I won't cry anymore when coming back from Butterworth,
but I cried just now.
Once I entered the house,
there's nobody home.
I was so tired and I wanted to sleep,
but I keep awake,
and my heart ain't feeling well,
but I don't even know why.
At 6p.m., I was looking at the clock and I was thinking that,
how good if I am still in Butterworth,
my sister and my two little nieces will be home at this time.
I admitted that my temper is kinda bad,
and I get used to scold them if they're too noisy,
but I do really love them lots.
I was so hungry just now and I found nobody to take dinner with me,
I was so helpless...
I was sitting alone in the living room facing the laptop and..
my tears never listen to me..
I cry alone like stupid and I wanted to call my mum but I control myself..
Coz my mum will be worry me lots if I cry..
And I am big enough..

Tomorrow, one of my dear friend will be leaving and start his new life in Singapore..
We get used to be so close last time, we have lots of fun when we're together..
He'll be back after 6 months...
Singapore not that far right ? Maybe you'll think so..
But there's wordless to describe my feeling,
it's complicated..
I know he's more suffer than me, he came all the way from Sarawak and has been stayed
in KL for almost 4 years..
He adapted everything here and now, he has to start another new life in a new place without friends and family..
This remind me about 2+ years ago,I started my life in KL..
I will never forget the feeling..
HELPLESS.
I cry and cry for every night..
Nobody talk to me,
nobody listen to me,
nobody eat with me...

I know he's sad and he told me that he's so reluctant to leave...
I really don't know what can I say...
I told him, think from another way,
it's a new start for you..
and your Mandarin and English will improves.
6 months very fast to pass...

We were listening to 'After Say Goodbye' in the car just now,
but I know we'll meet again...
By the time I say goodbye just now,
I don't dare to look at you and I just smile...
After closed the door,
I don't even dare to turn back and say goodbye again..

I really hope you can take good care of yourself there..
and don't repeat any mistake that you did anymore..
All the best and good luck my dear..

We're always here waiting for you :)

I am gonna miss YOU,YOU,YOU and YOU.

Dreaming...

I am going back to my hometown tomorrow but I feel nothing,
I mean I am not as excited as I expected.
Suddenly feel like reluctant to leave here,
although it's just for few days,
but I got a feeling that is unable to describe by words.
Sometimes I feel like I need a break,
leave everything behind included YOU,
but I got no direction.
I don't know where to go,
I don't know what can I do.

Do you realize that I don't even dare to look into your eyes anymore since that day ?
I am sad whenever I look into your eyes,
it reminds me of what I did and what you said.
I know all of that are just excuses,
you're not willing to hurt me too.
Thanks for your kindness.
Ops, perhaps mercy.

Sometimes I really hope that you're just beside me,
and I can hold your hand ..
I know it's impossible,
and the deadline is approaching,
it's time for me to let go officially...

How I wish that I can tell you once again,
and I hope that you can tell me what I wish to hear from you.

IMPOSSIBLE, I know it.
I am just dreaming.
I keep dreaming.
I should slap myself maybe.

I am just not fine at this moment,
I am sure that I will be fine after tonight.

没有如果。

身边比较亲近的朋友都问我，
你放手了，如果有天他告诉你，
他想要和你在一起呢？
我笑笑得回答，
再看我是否还对他又感觉吧！
一个笑几乎可以盖过一切。
我自己知道这个机会多么渺茫，
所以从不会对他有什么期待，
我想这是不让自己失望的最好方法吧。
我想，我已习惯了这样的日子。

有个人说，两个人在一起其实没有那么简单。
想了想，这句话其实多么真实。
或许还年轻，总是觉得何必顾虑那么多，
只要感觉对了，在一起就好了。
才发现，要是那么简单，
就代表我们彼此都抛开了一切，
活在只有彼此的世界里，
与社会的现实都脱离了关系。。。
这，有多少个人可以做到呢？

上个星期，
我一直鼓励一位朋友对他喜欢的人告白，
等了一星期多，
终于答应了。
我真的开心，虽然不是我的事，
可是我并了解那份愉快，多么好的感觉。
原来要遇见彼此都喜欢彼此的人是件多么难的事。。

听着《你知道我在等你〉& 《我以为你还在》，
写这一片文章，
真是适合不过。。
同时，它让我那么的不快乐。。。

Ignorance.

Thanks for your ignorance.
I am totally fed up.

我很好，那你呢？

‘我很好’是如此简单的一句话，
但有时候它却让我们需要鼓起很大的勇气才说得出口，
在说的同时，就仿佛心中在滴血。
如果你问我，最近好了些吗？
我会告诉你，我很好，你呢？
不管是不是伪装，
我也想听见你说，我也很好。
可是我知道你永远都不会问我，
所以我没有机会对你撒一个这样的谎。

平时觉得很简单的话在此时变得如此复杂。
想要和你说声‘嗨’却也如此的难，
这句话在此刻怎么变得那么重了。

曾几何时，我们已经很少出现在彼此的profile了，
害怕的是什么？
或许就是以往觉得那些简单的话，
现在都变成沉重了，
就像说了出口就要负责一样，
所以我们宁愿不说。

我尝试不让自己去看你的profile，
我害怕自己会忍受不住那份悲哀，
是的，是悲哀。
我觉得悲哀因为我们之间已经有堵墙了，
或许永远都无法敲破它。

以往的日子，
我会问自己，
怎么了？是我不够好吗？
现在，我只会告诉自己，
我并不差，只是对于你，
我还不够好。
我该觉得欣慰因为我会这么对自己说，
代表我已经不再那么在乎你了。
我是不是在安慰自己都不重要了，
我只想要快乐，
我想要一个可以了解我的人。

答应自己，
从今以后，我要快乐，
不再那么在意你的一切。

一切或许该结束了，
祝福你。

Motivation

Motivation is needed badly now.
Midterm is coming soon,
I seem like still RELAXING :(
Where's my motivation?
I don't even know what's able to motivates me the most now.
No idea at all.
I guess I am not interested in anything now except SLEEP.
I gained weight, I've to believe it because someone told me this,
I am not the only one who think so =X
Too bad, I just wish to lost some weight right now.
Arghh, I am tired.
I am tired with everything.

Don't rain please,
it's just like my heart keep bleeding.

I am a tough girl.
Yes I am.
Who cares if it's just pretense.
As what I've said, even I am pretending, I also want to be the happy one.